“…he who warned, uh, the…the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms…uh, by ringin’ those bells and um…makin’ sure as he’s ridin’ his horse through town…to send those warning shots and bells…that, uh, we were gonna be secure and…and we were gonna be free…and we were gonna be armed.” — Sarah Palin , June 2, 2011 Wait, WTF was I just doing? L isten my children and you shall hear Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere, On the eighteenth of April, Nineteen Seventy-five; Hardly a man is now alive Who remembers what pants we wore that year. He said to his friend, “If the British march By land or jetski from the town to-night, Ring a big bell in the belfry tower Or maybe ring two, if you have the power. And with your ale, don’t get too wrecked.” His friend looked puzzled: “In what respect?” Then Paul Revere, he took his gun Because the British were trying to take all his fun And rowed to the opposite shore to see If the British had made it to Applebee’s. For Ron Paul Revere swore there to the hostess That he would protect the salad bar mostest. And then his friend rang some bells— I forget just how many, maybe like ten? When I asked the man later he said “all of them.” And then Paul rode his horse down the freeway Shooting his warning shots and telling people they were gonna be free and stuff And everyone said “hell yeah!” and something that rhymed with that. So the British that day did not take our arms, We like to say because of his alarms. And so we all were gonna be secure And our automatic rifles still purr. In truth though, no thanks to Paul Revere Who paused in this alley, and is still sitting here, For halfway through that historic bit Paul Revere got fed up, and muttered “I quit.”
The Ride of Paul Revere. Also.